a JUICY morning of ::love::

those who know me, know that i have a love for 'playing chef'. i love to 'cook' and this new 'raw food' journey has taken me to a whole different level of what 'food' and 'cooking' means to me. food means :love: comfort, :nurturing: my love language is, quite simply put, summed up in one word....:FOOD: i show my love to others by preparing a meal for them. whether it be soup, brownies or lately, :green juice:

:hannah and her morning tonic:

we all have something to give to others, a 'gift' given to us by God above, and i now truly see that my gift (thank you Lord) is that i just really really love feeding people. ;) to me it is deeply meaningful...and almost spiritual. now i don't want to get all hokey sounding here, but when i say spiritual, i mean to say....well, i am beginning to see that living foods, foods that are still in their natural state...fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds...these were the foods that God our creator gave to his first children...He gave them a garden to tend. i love meditaing on that. and when we put living foods into a body created for them, it just makes everything else on the outside better, because we are taking care of the inside :)

this is something i yearn to instill in my children. as a mother, i can't help but feel a sense of responsibility to know and learn all i can about taking care of this old body that God gave me. i have a family to nurture and feed and i can't do that if my body isn't working properly. i know that if i feed my body and my family what is needed...i am doing my part :) eating well is very simple...and in a way, also showing our loving Creator how grateful we are for the foods He has given us.

i hope you all have a juicy day....and are filled with love, peace, patience and kindness today. may you be filled with enough love for yourself and others to make a big delicious raw salad, a bowl of colorful fresh fruit-- and share it with someone you love today!

our mothers day weekend review :) :)

i hope everyone had a beautiful mothers day this weekend :) i was blessed beyond my wishes. we spent a relaxing weekend at home, just being together...which is my favorite way to pass the time in my world....we worked in the garden, cut some roses, planted our new organic tomato plants, some mint and mescluns, took bike rides, napped, watched our favorite movies, and just had a glorious time together....

love surrounds me !

the roses this year have been so pretty!

getting ready for salads!

organic tomatoes!

david whisked me away for our coffee date alone (the boys gift to me - babysitting their little sisters so i could go off and be a 'grown up' for an hour :))

more love surrounds me ! what a lucky girl i am (photo taken by my 'professional' photographer son, owen -who is only 9, and showing such promise with his lens!)

a gift from my mama! thank you so much mom! i love LOVE LOVE the amazing Borghese cosmetics you sent me and the hand bag is so lovely!

i am gushing at my blessings in this beautiful life...and my prayer and wishes are for all my blogger hot mama's of the world to have a glorious day, today and every day!

KEEP'IN IT REAL :and all about the chocolate:

remember how i shared about the 'gentle cleansing' regime that i am following, via natalia rose's book? well, i forget to mention one very :VERY: important detail about this cleanse....you can have chocolate : like :EVERYDAY:. yes everyday.....and of course, your's truly does just that :)

oh the many wonders of chocolate!! did you know that chocolate is actually made from plants? and the benefits of eating dark chocolate is similar to the benefits of eating dark vegetables!?! it's true {in moderation of course} but, chocolate contains the same wonderful things that you find in dark veggies.....like, flavonoids, which in essence is an antioxidant. dark chocolate contains 8 times the number of antioxidants found in strawberries!! another thing about flavonoids found in chocolate is that flavonoids help relax blood pressure, as well as help to balance hormones in our body.

of course, you want to make sure that you are feeding your body 'good' dark chocolate. {dark chocolate which has 65 percent or higher cocoa content}. always in moderation too, that is the key :) i love to nibble on about 3 or 4 squares of my new favorite dark chocolate greens and blacks, {which you can find at almost any 'whole foods' market} each evening just right after i wash my face and get into my cozy pj's....i usually have my tea, my book and just before brushing my teeth i allow myself to indulge.

of course, there are also days when i really want a chocolate 'smoothie' san le guilt~ so i have a few more recipes to share with you today :)
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cleansing dark chocolate smoothie:

1 Tbl of greens and blacks cocoa powder
2 dates or one packet of stevia or agave nectar {to sweeten}
1 cup of almond milk (or water)
ice cubes

blend everything together til smooth....drink and {sigh} enjoy!

cleansing hot cocoa:

1 Tbl of G & B cocoa powder
one cup of almond milk
agave necter (about 1 Tbl) to sweeten

heat over stove top in small sauce pan, top with cinnamon and nutmeg, froth and {sigh} enjoy !!


update:

i have promised to update my 'progress' on the raw food detox diet...and i have been going strong now for over 7 weeks. i would consider myself around 80 to 95% raw, being that i still enjoy cooked foods like fish and some veggies here and there. for the most part i have chosen to temporarily eliminate dairy, white flour, caffiene and sugar. i also have been careful with wheat products being that i just feel better off of them. i never in a million years imagined what changing my diet could for my mind, body and soul. i know alot of people look at 'raw foodies' and think it a bit extreme, even i have my moments....but the point to my journey is to find my 'truth'....and sometimes that road leads one down a solitary path. the bible teaches us to 'be in the world, but not of the world'....to me that pretty much sums up alot of how i have been 'eating/living' while detoxing my body and getting healthy. yes, it is so easy to hit the drive thru with the kids, but i have found so many other healthy alternatives.

like yesterday for example, we took our little family camper vanagon down to 'old mans' for the day...but we left right after church, and we were rushing to get ourselves changed, and out the door, not to mention loading up beach chairs, sunscreen, sand shoes and buckets/shovels, umbrellas' etc. i realized i would not have time to pack a healthy cooler full of raw foods. so my husband (God bless him) say's 'honey, just this one time, let's drive thru and get something'...hmm...i gently look at the man, and give him one of those sideways glances...and in my frustration, i find the sweetest tone possible, and say, 'ok honey, you can drive thru, but would you mind if i ran into 'trador joes' so i can pick up some fruit and a salad for myself?'....

well...it worked! he ended up asking me to pick him up something good to eat while i was in there, and we all had a very healthy day full of raw fresh fruit, a few salads, some almond butter with honey sandwiches for the kids, fresh waters to drinks and some almond stuff dates with coconut for dessert, as well as fruit leathers too! it was another moment for me to rejoice and feel that i defeated the 'mainstream' way of life and took the road to wellness :)

i am just very grateful everyday for the inspiration and the desire {which i know is God given some days} because eating the 'standard american diet' {SAD} is not only tempting at times, (who can resist the occasional double and double?) but is mighty 'convenient' for a busy - on the go- mother of 4! i am learning that when we eat in (i 'cook' every night for my family while i 'un-cook' for me) we just eat so much healthier :)

so my progress thus far;

i am not keeping track of my pounds lost, because i have yet to make peace with buying a scale...but i am now fitting into pre pregnancy jeans -!!! which i have not been able to wear since, well...over 4 yrs ago now :) and i am feeling just so much better every day! another odd thing, i am not yet as 'thin' as i was during my engagement to my husband, but my wedding ring is falling off these days. so i am just wondering if the 'raw food' weight loss has something to do with losing weight 'differently' than say, eating {sad} standard american diet? perhaps because i am getting alot more water content in my foods these days? hmm. something else to research.

thanks for your support, it means the world to me to be able to share my progress here !!

thank you all so much for your support and genuine interest in the 'health' journey i have ventured upon. life has taken a busy turn for sure the past few weeks ... and i have such limited chill out 'online time' lately....i haven't had much time to write about all the amazing changes that have taken place...but they have been many and i stand in awe at how much i now truly see that yes! 'we are what we eat'.

i have always been passionate about whole foods and eating right....i know the positives effects that they have on our body, mind and spirit..but i must admit that over the years i have allowed myself to buy into the 'convenience' of 'mainstream eating'. i have worked hard to find a balance for what works best for me while i juggle life with 4 kids, a hubby and all the many other things that life can throw at you. i was hesitant to begin such an extreme change, but i told myself 'it is only for six weeks...i can do that'....i committed to the 6 weeks, and to be honest, i am 5 weeks along today and the changes i feel overall have shown me how worth it this all has truly been for me. i am going to keep this way of eating as 'my way' now. i am so thankful that God has blessed me with this time of growth. it has changed my life. i cannot imagine going back to my old habits and my old patterns of eating. i was not an 'un-healthy' person, i was just not all that consistent with my diet. i was addicted to sugar, and caffiene...and i ate too much meat and dairy. since 'going raw' 80% give or take, and only eating what God intended to go into my body....i have relished in this new person...:) even my skin feels amazingly soft, which is something i have always tried to achieve with lotions, etc....wow....it all really does come from the inside out.

i have found a balance between these 2 books and i highly recommend them to anyone looking for knowledge and motivation. Natalia Rose's book is a great starting point. i must admit, dr. Fuhrman's book is a bit extreme with the diet starting out. i look back now on the first 2 weeks of my change, and i did it pretty gun ho...i mean, i was really detoxing too quickly. it nearly knocked me off track. i am not one to give up that easily, so i stuck it out. but i would not recommend to anyone making such an extreme change so suddenly. for me, i felt it was a necessary evil...and in the end, i am glad that i got thru it. however, if you are looking to take your changes along the more gentler approach, Natalia's book is an excellent guide.

for the most part, i am eating 'raw' about 90% of the time now. i do have cooked veggie soups, and from time to time, whole grain brown rice or pastas. I am also working with the theory of food-combining, and i feel so much better after a meal because of it. for the duration of my 'cleanse' i have eliminated all flesh foods, (with the exception of fish now and then) all dairy, and mostly cooked meals. i for one, never anticipated from the start of this thing that i would actually enjoy eating this way. i thought it would just be one more complication that i would struggle against....but have been so relieved to find that it has actually simplified my life. the only true struggle i have found has been the mental strain of meal times, because i am preparing, in essence, 2 different meals. one for my family and one for me. however, as time has gone on, i am learning to be more organized and streamlined with our meals....i now prepare myself a big fresh salad, and if i make soup, i make enough for my family to eat that night...i have added sprouted grain breads and 'detoxed' my pantry as much as i possibly could thus far. stevia replaced sugar, whole wheat flour replaced white flour and no more 'processed and refined' packaged foods.

i usually shop at von's, sprouts, trador joes and 'fresh and easy' not to mention the weekly farmers markets which is my favorite place to shop for seasonal organic fruits and veggies. i try a new recipe weekly using whatever fresh ingredients i can get my hands on :)

Lately it has been a real treat to see more and more mainstream markets are carrying 'organic' brands, fruits and veggies, and that is a real plus for the pocketbook....i use to pay alot of more for 'organic', but the prices have gone down considering in my area. fruits and veggies do not clean and chop themselves, and yes i do spend more time now preparing 'fresh' but i have kept a positive attitude about it, considering the '30 minute meal' phenomenon - i look at it like i am using the same amount of time to clean, prepare and chop a much healthier alternative for myself...so i really am not using up 'more time', i am just maximizing the health benefits of the time i spend in my kitchen.


one more thing that i must share is the impact of fresh juices in our diet. for me personally it has made all the difference. with a family of 6 juicing daily can become a bit much for me, and i am big on the 'simplify' concept...so i use my juicer on an 'every other day' basis, but the juicing aspect has really lifted me to a whole new level. i have never been a 'green' veggie juice kinda gal...but i have created a wonderful juice that i personally love. and i would love to share that recipe here with you...it has come after many trial and error. it is sweet, and satisfying and oh so good for you on so many levels.

1 cucumber
1/4 beet
2 to 3 beet green stems
1 -2 apples
2 -3 stems of kale
2 - 3 leaves of romaine

juice all and enjoy!

i am :: thankful:: and going 'raw'

{taken at the Getty, summer 07}

"What though the radiance
which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass,
of glory in the flower,
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind."

(Splendour in the Grass.William_Wordsworth}

is there nothing more beautiful than the sound of this poem dancing through your head?

{:thankful for:}
my sweet new apron, which is inspires me in my humble little kitchen every day.

i have shared on my blog a while back about my road to wellness. after the birth of my last baby, i suffered a pretty serious bout with ppd. it didn't last long thankfully, but it did seem to me to leave some kind of 'mark' upon me. my energy has remained low and i seem to struggle along with little bouts of colds and sniffles and flu bugs here and there. i have also struggled to lose the last 20 lbs that seemed to linger. i have been on a quest, a search, a journey lately...i call it my 'road to wellness'. i have always been passionate about anything 'health' related and organic/ vegan/ raw...but to be honest, the thought of making a drastic change at this stage in my life was a bit overwhelming. well i am happy to report that i have taken the plunge and i am so thankful that i did. i am 3 weeks into totally "raw" and my body, mind and spirit have never felt better.

i will keep you posted on my progress. so far, it has been 16 days and i have lost over 9 lbs. i will be sharing my journey here on this blog as i forge ahead and find my way. i just really needed a drastic change and this was something i needed to do for myself and my body.

i am so thankful for the support of my family while i find my way...and besides that, the 'side effects' of my raw diet have been only positive for my babies and my hubby...he has lost over 8 lbs, {he hasn't even been trying} and my children glow.

for that i am ::truly thankful::

a {birthday} for mom

happy birthday mom! i love you and miss you!
the girls and i made this cake from scratch together for 'grandma precious' and her '29th' birthday this year. we miss you grandma {mom}. thank you for making all of our birthdays so special...you are truly a wonderful mom and grandma and we are blessed to have you!

{happy} LOVE thursday

my weekly contribution for shutter sisters
this week...taken by my sweet mr wonderful.

my sweet little girls....emma was just hours old, when"big" sissy Hannah greeted her with a kiss. it was instinctual, beautiful and simply natural. she needed no coaching....she just held her in her sweet little 2 yr old arms and gently, ever so sweetly greeted her sister with a kiss.

love is like that. deep rooted and desperately necessary. love is just oh.so.beautiful.

happy {love} thursday to all......

:all about treasures:{outside of ourselves}

{Not only is another world possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.}

~Arundhati Roy

i have mentioned many times in my blog about my sweet friend jen ballantyne. she has been a light in my life since we met, and i think she is just one of the loveliest of all women. she is a single mother to 2 sweet boys, her youngest being just 6. she is brilliant, creative, inspiring, kind. she is also courageously battling stage 4 colon cancer....and you can read her brave story as it unfolds on her blog.

in the past few weeks a group of amazing women have come together to organize a way to raise funds to help pay for the treatments jen will need that fall outside of her insurance coverage. not only that, but as well to create a trust for her youngest son Jack. they are going to host a charity auction, through ebay, and all money made will go directly to jen's care and the trust for Jack.

i am going join these women by giving the one thing i have to give, and that is handcrafting some of my jewelry and donating it. please visit bella, jen lemen, and meg casey to find out all the details.

let your love shine through....what can you do today to help?

HAPPY:: EASTER :: {He is Risen}

i tend to forget the simple pleasures are the best pleasures. we spent a beautiful afternoon boiling our eggs {about 3 dozen}, painting, coloring and ever so carefully and precisely placing stickers upon egg after glorious egg. we had blue ones, pink ones, yellow ones, swirled ones. the world stopped and offered up all of her loveliness to us today!

...we seemed to get lost in the sweetness of each other and the goodness of this GOOD FRIDAY day. my mr wonderful loves {ie, seriously addicted to:} my {evil} deviled eggs. so today, with torrid pleasure, i threw my head back in evil laughter and threw caution to the wind...and made up about a dozen or so of the lovely, evil-ly delicious morsels and we devoured all of them! {insert evil laugh here}!! in ONE sitting. :)

my girls have learned to love them too and today was no exception for emme, she fell head over heels. so, needless to say, by dinner time...our tummies were full. david made an awesome dinner tonight for us - baked salmon with asparagus, and clam chowder {tradors joes brand is yummy - as we tried it tonight for the first time} but we all ended up with left overs, so i guess i know what's cooking for tomorrow nights dinner...i am going to make my favorite; pasta with salmon...{wiping my drool}.

well...i hope your Good Friday was full of love and sweetness...and i would love to share a beautiful and fitting poem for Easter. blessings to each and every one today!

The fasts are done; the Aves said;
The moon has filled her horn
And in the solemn night I watch
Before the Easter morn.
So pure, so still the starry heaven,
So hushed the brooding air,
I could hear the sweep of an angel's wings
If one should earthward fare.

~Edna Dean Proctor, "Easter Morning"

{necessary} losses....

yes, i hit delete. but because i changed my mind on exposing such raw emotion. i still need to sit with this...but thank you so much from the depth of my heart who commented and sent emails. it was so nice to know that i was doing the right thing. i will continue the path i am on.

happy GOOD FRIDAY to all!

{sabbath}

{evening ritual}

so, the other night david and i watched Yiddish World Remembered on pbs. i was mesmerized and fascinated by the traditions of the jewish people. being half jewish myself, but not raised in an orthodox home, i can't help but feel a deep sense of myself resonating with this culture. the tradition of the Shabbat is one of such beauty to me. how i long to create this kind of 'sabbath' for david and the kids.

it just sounds so peaceful to me....once a week, shut out the outside world and be together...just devoting that time to rest. to God and to each other.

in jewish poetry, literature and music, the shabbat is referred to as the 'bride' or queen..and every week the jewish family looks forward to this very special day. this documentary was so touching. elderly jewish men wept as they remembered the special meals that their mothers prepared on the shabbat...and i was moved to tears to see that.

i think deep within each one of us, there is a longing to connect with special traditions. the shabbat begins at sunset, candles are lit...everyone is dressed and ready to welcome the blessing. the prayer for eating bread, or challah is recited...and then they eat together. as a family, at a beautifully set dinner table.

:::sigh::::

it sure does beat our pizza and video night...and i must admit...every friday, i get this feeling deep within me, that i am really missing something. beautiful ritual. rest for our soul. the gathering of love....food with such spirit and soul to be shared. shared together.

my Emma Story - {for LOVE THURSDAY}

{photo taken by my soul sister}

it was a thursday....and i whispered a quiet plea to a God i did not understand. i clutched my bible and stood at the edge of all i had left. weeping, sorrowing, lamenting. but not a word could i mutter. it all came out in groans and sighs. and my tears were bitter that night as i turned out the lights and tried to find sleep. miscarriage was a part of my history...and this was my 4th one. here i was grieving another baby i would never hold, never sing to, never know. i would never kiss the cheek, smell the scent or wake to the cry of this sweet child. and it was the loneliest goodbye. each and every time....

forging on and focusing on the 3 beautiful children i was blessed to keep and know...i pushed the grief away with each passing day. and resigned myself over the logical decision to give up having 'just one more'. one month after that last miscarriage, we found out i was pregnant with Emma. i braced myself for yet again..one more disappointment. i couldn't say the word 'baby'...for in my mind this was just a 'pregnancy'. it made it easier to just say that word, leaving myself unattached from the precious little being now invading my body.

when i hit 7 weeks, the spotting started and soon thereafter, some slight cramping. i went into a tail spin. i called my husband at work and told him that i was on my way in to see the doctor...and i was shaking. i was sure i had lost this 'pregnancy' too. it was his birthday, dec. 15, we sat side by side in the lobby of the dr's office, holding hands...each in our own silence.

i remember telling myself to just accept that this was -more than likely- not going to turn out well...but i prayed fervently with all my might that God would not allow such a painful blow on my husbands birthday. i couldn't bare the thought of each passing year, carrying the hollow memory of losing yet another baby as we tried to celebrate his 'special' day. i am big on birthdays, and i am also big on 'event' days. i can tell you the exact dates of each subsequent miscarriage. and in my own small and quiet way, i observe them all.

finally, after what seemed like an eternity, i found myself laying on the familiar ultra sound bed, the cold jelly and the ultrasound instrument being placed upon my abdomen... the fuzzy little screen, outerspace speckles and stars twirling in the monitor, and finally seeing a tiny little speck of a glowing figure....flickering. the little glow was our sweet baby...and that sweet baby was not showing a heartbeat.

dr. grey decided that he could not actually tell for 'certian' if the heart was beating or not 'on this particular monitor'. so we were ushered into another ultra sound room. my heart was wrenching. my palms sweaty, barely breathing....i looked at my husband and crawled up onto another table. awating my fate...awaiting for the process to start all over again. while dr. grey took his time to gather a few more things... we were in the room alone, just my husband and i.....he grabbed my hand and began to pray.

we were interrupted by the creeking of the opening door...and in walked the doctor. i had a lump in my throat and i braced myself for the worst. he explained this machine was 'newer' and the screen 'much clearer' so it should detect a heart beat right away...i turned and looked away. i closed my eyes and waited for the confirmation. this time, i was not going to allow the loss to take me down. this time i was going to be strong. this time i was going to trust God with all my heart. this time.........i heard a small sigh of relief coming from David...dr. grey took my hand in his and told me look at our baby...heartbeat and all.

the day i finally held her in my arms...the very moment i saw her sweet face...i was restored. she completes our family. at times, (usually in the early morning, when her face is flushed with sleep and her cheeks are 2 rosy pink petals) i look at her in amazement and think about how the power of fear...well, how it gripped my soul and made me give up. God knew my deepest desire was to be a mother...to have that big family that i never had.

i look at my precious girl and i thank God for having 'His way'.


{love thursday is hosted every week over at shutter sisters --stop in to see visual love and inspiration ;)}